Wednesday, December 7, 2011 0 comments

I'm Sorry...Want a Shell?

Hey guys I'm so sorry I haven't been able to post much lately! Its been hectic with finals and doing a show. (Beauty and The Beast. You should all come see it! :D Dates, Times, and Ticket Prices!)

ITS A BEAUTIFUL SHOW!

Lumiere & Babette 
Anywhoos. With so little time to post such long and much exaggerated stories, I figured I would brighten your days with little videos that will make you smile until I get back on track. I have not forgotten about you my love. Hang in there. Introducing...


Marcell The Shell With Shoes On! (Two)
So precious...


Tuesday, November 22, 2011 0 comments

The Floral Couch

The Floral Couch is a YouTube channel created by me and one of my bestest friend ever, J NIKKI FOX! We have a good bit of random vids on the web and have had a blast making them! This one is one of my favorites! I hope you guys like it! If you do, like us on the Facebook machine! (Quote from Brian Yopp!)


HAVE A SUPER DAY ERREBODY!
Stay tuned on YouTube and FB for more vids!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011 0 comments

Hate / Love



We all have pet peeves. Here are a few things that REALLY irk me! :D Hope you enjoy! (And agree. Because that would be really awkward.)



WHY is there a string there. WHY.





It's COULDN'T care less! COULDN'T! If you  could care less it means you could care less than you do! MEANING YOU CARE. NIMRODS! 
(Sorry for offending the entire population on this one. Saw it in a book once. Screamed loud fits of rage in the bookstore.)









That's okay SUN! I don't need my eyes to see while driving!







Furious.






Slow computers. Now THAT'S an idea! ^^^




There are many more things that irk me but I also have things that i just like / love for no particular reason or for very obvious reasons!








I'm not sure why... but whenever I see a blue truck on the road it just puts me in a good mood!










Owls are such beautiful creatures!









Everybody loves Starbucks!









God's gift to planet Earth.












God's gift to Skylar Wheat.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 2 comments

Truly Scumptious

Throughout my whole life people would always at some point tell their most embarrassing moment. Normally it would be at school or a church camp and we would go in a circle taking turns telling our stories. Most people had a great story to tell. I didn't. Many would say that is a fortunate thing! I guessed that maybe I just didn't get embarrassed too easily. It is true that I don't, but when my moment finally came, it was... well embarrassing.

This is one of those stories that you tell in confidence that your listener won't tell anyone. 

But I am going to post it on the world wide web. 

Why?

Because it is my job to entertain you. That is what this blog is for. Plus if i laugh at my own misfortune it makes it less painful! :) (Single tear slides down my cheek.) Besides this is too funny to keep quiet.

I started my first job the day after I turned 16. Chick-Fil-A was a wonderful place to work! Especially for a first job. I worked behind the register, in the kitchen, and even in the drive through. Of all of these duties, however, being the Chick-Fil-A cow is probably the most interesting and memorable.

Every Tuesday we had Kid's Night. All of the families would get a free 4 piece kids meal with the purchase of a combo, and I played with the snotty nosed children. Oh no I loved the children! They just literally had snotty noses. Anyways, I would dance and play with the kids and bond and all of that preciousness for about 2 or 3 hours. Afterwards I either went home or changed into my work clothes to finish the night shift.

My good friend Daniel and I had great times at CFA. This night in particular I had just gotten out of the cow suit and was standing in the back in my T-shirt and gym shorts. Daniel had recently introduced me to the movie MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. (Love.) So we were both talking about our favorite parts and were discussing and acting out the funny parts. Well it was time for me to put on my work clothes and Daniel had to pee so we both headed to the bathroom. 

The bathroom in CFA is nice but its one of those smaller bathrooms. It has one urinal and one stall for when you have the poopsies. And a sink. But that's irrelevant so I wont put it in the post. 

I headed directly into the stall as Daniel went to answer mother nature's call. We continued our conversation of course as I began to undress. Suddenly I noticed Daniel left without saying anything. He had thought I didn't notice and was just going to leave me in the bathroom talking to myself. Well I saw right through his little plan! So I stopped talking. 

 I wonder if any of you have heard the song "Truly Scrumptious" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I LOVED that movie as a child. My cousin Shay and I used to watch it all of the time at Mawmaw's house. Well for some odd reason that song was in my head. And it had no reason to be! I had not seen or heard that song in YEARS but it just happened to have plopped into my head at that moment. So I started singing it. (At the time I did not realize it.) Not like normal singing either. I sang it like a woman. EXACTLY like the girl in the movie. Why? Because I'm Skylar. Don't judge. (You can judge.) I also happened to have the toots. So I'm in the CFA stall alone singing "Truuuulyyy Scrumptious!" and letting some fly. (Classy I know.)

After I finished changing I used the restroom and opened the stall to wash my hands. A man was waiting on the stall so I smiled and nodded at him as I turned on the sink. As he closed the door to the stall behind him I began washing my hands.

This was my thought process as I was washing my hands:

...

"I wonder how long that guy had been standing there."

...

"Wait.. was I.. singing?"

...

"Noo."

...

"Wait I actually may have been singing..."

...

"It was "Truly Scrumptious"!

...

"Oh my gosh! I passed gas too!"

...

"Twice!"

...


"WHILE I WAS SINGING "Truly Scrumptious"!!!!"


...


"Calm down. Maybe he just walked in."

...

I was safe. Surely he had just walked in. I hurriedly left the bathroom to tell Daniel about my close call, but he was laughing before I even opened my mouth. I eyed him. I asked him what was so funny? He said he had left me alone in the bathroom with that random man so that I would just keep talking to him about Monty Python...

......... I cannot explain to you...... the emotions that I felt....

A sound that I had never made in my life escaped my mouth and my eyes snapped open in shock. My face turned blood red as I realized what I had just done. I told Daniel what had ACTUALLY happened and he could not breathe.

I stayed in the back until I was sure that man had left.

I just want you to hear what this man had heard when he was trying to take a completely normal trip to a public restroom.

He walks in, sees that someone is in the stall and hears this....

(To get the full effect, fast forward to 2:02 because this is the part I was singing!)


COMBINED WITH FLATULENT SOUNDS!

So embarrassing. Now I have a story to tell and I have told it. I just hope this doesn't bite me in the butt.




Monday, November 14, 2011 4 comments

A Series of Entirely Too Unfortunate Events

Every one says "I have the worst luck." If you do not say this, then you are only fooling yourself because It is a known fact that everyone believes they have the worst luck. I wasn't sure that I believe in luck. Surely it was irresponsibility, or even forgetfulness that caused my misfortunes. But sometimes, things happen that cannot be explained or blamed on things such as character traits. It took a whole lot for me to finally realize that bad luck was a mean and rude little demon that would not leave me alone. Do I blame it ALL on luck? No. Of course if I were more responsible or even took a few moments to think, then a lot of the terrible things i go through and experience could be avoided.

...Right?

One morning, my friends and I had all met to go see the musical, "Wicked" (Phenomenal btw :D). We all piled into Cody's Suburban and made the drive to Atlanta, GA. After eating at an entirely too expensive restaurant in which we all left still pretty hungry, (Ecco. Do NOT go.) we arrived at the FOX theater very eager to see the show. It was spectacular! After a full day of giddy laughter and enjoyment, we got home at approximately 2 AM.

We were all entirely exhausted and ready to go home. Groggily i put my hand in my pocket to retrieve my key to the van. (AKA: Swagger Wagon.) (AKA: Mom van because my truck gets terrible gas mileage for the drive to Jacksonville where I attend college.) The key was not there. I fumbled around my pockets looking for the key.

"Huh.. That's weird. I can't find my key."

Instantly everyone joked with me. I always do this. My keys are always locked in my car. Sure enough, they were. Again. At 2 in the morning.

But oh no. The worst had not even begun. Not only had my key been locked in my car, but the car had been cranked. FOR THIRTEEN HOURS. The smell was horrific and spread across the whole parking lot. Instantly, everyone left. (Thanks guys!) I had to call mom and get her out of bed to come and unlock the van with the spare. This was about a ten minute drive for her, so I went upstairs into Cody's apartment to wait on her.

Bad luck? Of course not. Just sheer irresponsibility. And I had accepted that. Accepted the fact that the already damaged van was now probably ruined and accepted the fact that it was indeed my fault. Mother calls me to come outside.

She brought the wrong key.

I had to wait another twenty minutes for her to go back home, find the singular spare key, and come back.

Instantly she unlocked the car and turned it off. The fumes were unbearable. The gas was drained and so was the transmission fluid and oil. (Of course!)

Luckily, Cody had some spare oil we could use, but we were out of transmission fluid. We thanked him and he went inside to go to bed. After filling up the oil, we looked for the transmission fluid valve. Sure enough, it is the only one under the hood that does not exist. There are no signs of a place to put transmission fluid. So we check the manual. THE MANUAL. WHICH DOES NOT TELL YOU HOW TO PUT TRANSMISSION FLUID INSIDE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THESE SORTS OF THINGS AREN'T NECESSARY. We realized that even though we did not know where we would put it, we had to have it. So a 3 AM trip to Wally World was the only solution.

The only solution which, in fact, was interrupted by more bad luck.

 We got into my truck that mom had brought over and she tried to crank it. Sure enough, the truck. would. not. crank. THE TRUCK... WOULD NOT... CRANK.

Really? REALLY. Is this happening?

....Why.

I call Cody to come back out to jump the truck with jumper cables. He brings them out and we face our next dilemma. Mom had parked the truck right beside the van. There was no room for Cody to bring the Suburban over to jump the truck and we did NOT want to crank the van again.

Here is a diagram showing how i was parked.

But it was the only way. If the cables were an inch shorter, they would not have been able to reach. We finally got the truck running. We thanked Cody dearly for his kindness and patience and he went back to bed.

Once we arrived at Wal-Mart, Mom had me wait in the running truck because we were afraid to cut it off in fear that it would not crank again. She ran into Wal-Mart for a short, speedy, quick 38 minute run for transmission fluid. In this extensive amount of time, I reflected on what had happened in the past few hours.

THE WORLD'S WORST LUCK.

Surely it could not get any worse. Wrong!

Mom calls me to explain she doesn't have enough money with her to get all the stuff. So she comes out, and I go in to spend even more money. A lot of my cash was already spent on our meal in GA and I was not very happy. I find the lady and hand her the money for the transaction. The only thing that could go wrong did. The transaction messed up and I had to wait on a manager which they could not find. I was left standing at the register stone faced. An old man slowly got in line behind me. He had a lunchable. Why was this old man out at 4 in the morning? And why was he just buying a lunchable? I have no idea. And at this point I did not care. He had to wait ten minutes to buy his lunchable. I let him in front of me when the lady returned and FINALLY checked out and left.

Upon returning to the van, we popped the hood and looked for a place to put the transmission fluid. Nothing. So we put it in the only opening that wasn't labeled. It spit it right back out. Wonderful! We checked the transmission fluid again and NOW it registered full. Making our whole Wal-Mart run pointless. I finally got home at 5:20 AM. Needless to say, I skipped Biology the next morning, and failed my Math test later that day.

These series of unfortunate events were a little too unfortunate. What are the odds? Whatever they were they were clearly not in my favor. And they never are! Even if i see it coming, it hits hard. Possibly the worst feeling, however, is when it catches you by surprise. Why just the other day I go to help Cody load up the set into a trailer and my truck (A good deed mind you!) And when i cut my lights off the button panel fell out.

WHY.

It's just little things of inconvenience. Nothing that can't be fixed, but day to day little things here and there aggravate the stew out of me. Most of which cause huge setbacks. I must wonder. What caused all of this? Who or what is the source of my misfortune? I am partially to blame. This I know is true. But something had to have caused my bad luck...

About a year ago my friends and I went camping. Evan had given me a gift.

Say hello to my pride and joy! Chubs. Chubs is a lucky ol' cat and loves people and good eats. He waved at us happily the entire camping trip. He is a LUCKY cat mind you. That is until i carelessly stuffed him in the trunk only to find him broken upon our return.

(By the way, that day was a whole other story. My bag happened to be the only one to fall off the roof of the car. My shirts, Nightmare Before Christmas blanket, $100 backpack, and 2nd (yes 2nd. Another story.) pair of converse all gone. We backtracked. Nothing.)

Yes I broke a lucky object. But i recently glued him back together! Chubs here is making a swell recovery and waves at me before bed and when I rise. So it could not have been that. Surely. Besides, my bad luck had been prominent before I even met Chubs.

People take notice to my unluckiness. They wanted an explanation. Well so did I! So I told them the only reasonable explanation. When I was younger an evil witch placed a terrible curse on my family. Thus, causing us to be late everywhere and for terrible inconveniences to befall us.

Stupid witch. You would think she would keep her fat wrinkled nose in the fairy tale world. No she came pokin' around in mine. You laugh but I am serious. It never fails something always happens badly! I have no idea how to break the curse. That's the difference in fairy tales and the real world. They have a flippin' manual to go by and I'm stuck here wondering when the glue on Chubs is going to dry.


But maybe it wasn't an evil witch. (Although highly unlikely.) Mom told me that a long time ago she had two ying yang ceramic cats. A white one and a black one. She told me the white one (OF COURSE) broke. The black one still sits in her room collecting dust. Maybe that is the reason...

Either way, I have accepted my bad luck. And one day maybe I can reverse it. HAH! With the luck I have?
Thursday, November 10, 2011 2 comments

You Have Arrived!

WELCOME!
Hello all! My name is Skylar and you are on my blog, "You've Got Whale". Congrats! This blog's sole purpose is to entertain you! Admission is free of charge and you are welcome anytime you need a good laugh. Alan is also excited about you being here! Aw look! He's... yeah. Well Alan and I hope you enjoy your stay!
ALAN THE WHALE
                                             
 
;